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Hi.

 

My socially awkward experiences

My socially awkward experiences

I want to share with you some of my cringy/ embarrassing/ just truly sad stories. I have a ton of them but here are just a few to not completely scare you away.  Every time I remember these stories my anxiety level gets dangerously high.  But still, I thought this could possibly make you feel better and if you fail as much as I do, you could probably relate to this and feel less alone in this humiliating world.

 

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This happened embarrassingly recently. My driving class had just finished and I went for a coffee and while my coffee was being made I went to the bathroom. Along the way, I noticed a man who was following me. He walked strangely close and if you know me even a little bit, you know that I get scared very easily. I opened the door of the women’s bathroom and the man also came in. I gathered all my courage to turn around and tell this dude that the men's bathroom is right next door. You also must know I showed direction with my hand very dramatically. And it definitely was a moment there.  A moment that goes so deep in one’s memory, it can not be forgotten. He looked in my eyes for a while, took his beanie off and said: “I am not a man.” I just stood there. Looking and feeling like a complete asshole. I automatically closed my eyes. My face was ready to receive a punch, but instead, she started laughing. Although I apologized her for a couple of hundred times, it didn’t really change how embarrassed I felt.

There were a whole bunch of follow-up questions that I asked myself later: 1.) It is 2017- everyone can go wherever they want, so why did I care so much? 2.) I barely ever talk to people I don’t know, why did I have to open my mouth this one specific time? 3.) Why do I voluntarily create situations where I have to hate myself even more? 

 

Moving on.

 

This one took part back in the day. I think I was about 12, but I don’t quite remember, so it could have happened at an even a more embarrassing age. And just to give you some background information: I developed very… slowly. I just don’t know how to put it in other words. I had a group of girls and we were just not interested in dating or boys, in general, comparing to others in that age.  As I remember, all we cared about was… I don’t know… volleyball? Most probably. Back then I was very into sports. Not so much now. Actually not even a little bit now. But let’s move on to the actual story. It was the April fools. I came home after another volleyball practice and my mom and dad were already waiting for me. They were just standing there, smiling, waiting for me. So my mom started to tell this story that this one boy called me. I remember this so clearly: I didn’t blink, I didn’t smile, there was not a single thought in my head that would lead me to think this was real. With a straight face, I immediately said: I know that no one called. And wow, you should have seen them. Smiles on their faces disappeared immediately. They were like: yeah…that was a joke. And I think the funny part was that they were thinking how to prank me for a while and the best prank they came up with was this. A boy called me. This was so sad and depressing but hilarious at the same time. That was the best prank they thought of. Wow. I guess that tells a lot about me as a person back then.

 

And yes, I saved the best for the last.

 

This is the memory I remember pretty frequently. If you see me smiling for no apparent reason– I might be thinking about this one. This happened in my childhood. It was summer and I spent it in the countryside at our family’s summer house. Summers were pretty boring for me because my brother (who is two years older than me) had a lot of friends there, but I didn’t have a single one. And he wanted to be cool back then and It wouldn’t be possible if he took his little sister with him, you know? That is the reason why I spent three months riding around with my bike on my own. Sometimes it was so unbearably boring I just couldn’t. I did nonsense most of the time. One of the nonsenses was when I found this beautiful rose bush that grew on the border of my neighbor’s property. I just picked some flowers and plucked their leaves one by one while still sitting on the bike. I did not have a blast, but it got me through the day. So I did that for a while and noticed woman coming straight at me from the train station but it didn’t stop me from doing what I was doing because what a coincidence that would be if she lived in the house where I was ripping the flowers. She did live there. Full of anger she came to me and started yelling. I was so scared yet still so casually sitting on my bike. I just stared at her with no apparent emotions. Although I looked super chill on my upper body, I peed all over myself. I peed everything that was in me and I couldn’t stop because of the fear. I think it was the very first time somebody that I didn’t know was yelling at me. It was a hot summer too, so the road was super dry. As you can imagine, the asphalt didn’t soak up the pee. It just created this big puddle full of pee in the middle of the road. While she was yelling I didn’t look down, because I knew she would notice it so I just kept staring at her like nothing was happening down there. The angry woman finally stopped and went into the house and I slowly looked down.  The street was in flood. I remember that I tried to get out of there as fast as possible and the wheel of my bike created this splash from the pee puddle. I know, I was such a rebel back then. Shiiiiiit.

 

And, hey, if anything similar has ever happened to you and you are not afraid to share it with others, feel free to leave it in the comment section or just send it straight to me. I would love to hear abut your cringy stories as well. Whatever you decide to do– stay weird and embrace it once in a while.

 

 

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